Seriously? 869 words?

How can I possibly be nervous over a measly 869 words? I know, right? It is barely a couple paragraphs? I write longer emails to my friends! *sighs* Okay ...here's the deal. Guilt ... guilt is the deal. A dear friend wanted me to do NaNo this year and I said no. *GASP* I know ... I know ... NO. You see, I did NaNo last year for the first time and LOVED it!! I made the word count and came away with confidence and excitement!!

So what's the problem you ask??? Then I didn't write for about 9 months. I swear I was incapable of anything more creative than a grocery list. Can I say for 100% certain that my dirge of creativity stems from NaNo burnout? No ... I admit there were other things going on in my life those nine months ... bill collectors, bankruptcy, foreclosure, moving ... BUT the NaNo is the only part of it I have any control over now. The rest is done and over and I am moving on with my life. Maybe without credit, but a hell of a lot smarter.

Ummm back to the guilt and the 869 words. You see because I felt guilty I decided to join an erotica writing course on writing.com that this same friend has been shamed into teaching. I want to support him. Easy enough to understand. So the class started this week and he hands out the first assignment. Turns out he teamed up with a WDC contest called The Weekly Quickie, which I have been regularly entering if you will see the right hand column. So it should have been no problem. 869 words, piece of cake. The first assignment ... write about a couples first time together. Easy peasy! Pick a couple you are going to enjoy because you are going to use this same couple in each of your assignments over the next 5 weeks creating a sort of short story out of your 5 869 word entries.

For some reason this was where my paranoia kicked in. I already struggle with the tight word count because I have an overwhelming NEED to create back story and plot along with my smut. Try fitting all that in 869 words. And now ... now I am going to be telling a longer story ... a seamless story so the reader needs to understand the characters ... feel with them ... along with squirm in their seat in heat.

There are 10 or 11 of us in the class. At last count 8 of them had turned their story in and I finally started mine yesterday. Ughhhh. I have until Saturday @ 11:59 PM. Someone tell me why this is so difficult all of the sudden??

*pulls my hair out* ... I just checked the word count here ... 464 ... more than half way to my wc in a BLOG. What is wrong with me?

~ MM